Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
