I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
