Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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