I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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