i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
