I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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