I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
