So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
