Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
