how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
