After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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