You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
