thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
