her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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