I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
