Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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