just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize