mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize