I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
bring money and cleavage
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
