pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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