as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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