Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
