im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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