i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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