dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
