so that wasnt chicken after all
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Still dying that you shit outside
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
