and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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