He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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