she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize