is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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