I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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