How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
