then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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