I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think people are normalizing furries
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
