you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
