turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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