glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
