wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
