She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
