I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Randomize
