So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
