I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
