She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
