at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Small penises have feelings too.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
