found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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