but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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