Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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