I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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