did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
