I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize