yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
