After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
