Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
