I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
