Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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