Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
