I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
