Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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