my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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