I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize