love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
