She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
