Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize