I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
two words: eviction party
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
