hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
